Today we embarked on the next leg of our reproductive journey in the form of IUI. “We.” I HATE saying “WE.” DISCLAIMER: This is a blog post from a husband’s standpoint, so I beg that you forgive a simpleton’s perspective coupled with the obligatory sports analogies I’m undoubtedly going to over use in the next several minutes. That said, when I speak the phrases, “we” started IUI... “We” had a miscarriage... I feel like the water boy on a team that won the Super Bowl. Yeah, I “was there,” but I don’t have any delusions about how much (or little) of the physical pain and burden I personally shouldered (which is almost none). It’s the equivalent of when my wife says, “WE need to build that treehouse.” I know fully well that this statement when translated actually means, “YOU need to build that treehouse and I’ll bring you a bottle of water when it looks like you’re on the verge of a heatstroke.” #teamworkmakesthedreamwork. It’s literally the same concept. It’s in this regard that I can sort of understand how crazed parents end up brawling in the stands of their children’s sporting events. I know this is an out of left field comparison, but bear with me... The angst and frustration of being forced to powerlessly sit on the sideline as your most precious loved one struggles through adversity can drive a person to madness (as seen in many a YouTube video). But the fact remains crystal clear... I’m not the person that has to have that horrendous wand put in places it’s not welcome. I’m not the one that has to stare down the barrel of an enormous needle. I’m not the one that has to take a drug that has it’s fair share of side effects. And absolutely worst of all, I can’t even be there to hold my wife’s hand because of the COVID-19 precautions set in place at the medical facilities. My wife may get pregnant and I won’t even be in the room.... It’s enough to drive a person to madness.
Despite the feelings of uselessness and the extreme frustration this set of circumstances cause, what’s helped me maintain some shred of sanity is an eagle eye focus on doing the only thing I can do. I’m trying to do everything in my power to be as supportive as possible. Ultimately, if just being a water boy gets us this win, then that’s the role I was put on this earth to play.