Um... We Met at a Coffee Shop? The Beginning of the Road

Did any of you out there have this bizarre compulsion to completely lie about how you and your main squeeze met? We did! The year was 2008. Smart phones were a new concept. Dating apps didn't exist. However, dating websites were in full swing and you accessed them from an actual computer. The heavy hitters on the block were eHarmony and Match.com. The "swipe right or left" of our day was quite reminiscent of what it looks like when you're perusing the internet for new kitchen appliances or a used car. You sifted through photos of perspective options and clicked on the pictures you thought may suit your lifestyle. A descriptive write up of some sort usually appeared once said picture was clicked upon. These bios were intended to be rooted in truth, but often times delved into the realm of fiction with specific details such as "I simply love having a cup of tea and reading the op-ed section of the local newspaper." In my defense, I had done that a few times (maybe 3) in my life. However, to list that as one of my hobbies was laughable in hindsight. Oh, the things we say to not appear to be a certified dumpster fire! On the flip side, I think Kim's bio mentioned something about being "chill" which for anyone who knows her is probably actually LOL-ing as they read this. We arranged to meet at a Starbucks in the middle of San Diego. She had a friend lurking in the parking lot for approximately 10 minutes like a CIA surveillance operative to ensure I wasn't a serial killer. Pretty responsible in all reality (Thanks Bri). Once we started chatting, it was clear that something was there. She bantered with me like a pro and actually seemed to appreciate and enjoy my slightly warped/sarcastic charm. In the days and weeks following, we started hanging out a bunch. I really enjoyed her circle of friends. They all were awesome people. She instantly jived with my tribe of goofballs (firefighter brothers) and their significant others. It was awesome. For those of you that aren't aware, the fire service creates bonds amongst co-workers and their families that are comparable to actual blood relatives. This is actually part of what the Bomb Proof Family represents. However, that's a different blog for a different day. So, as we hang out with our friends at different events or on different trips, "the question" would ALWAYS inevitably rear its ugly head... "So, how'd you guys meet?" "Ummmmm…. Well, it was... we met at... So, I saw her at a coffee shop and chatted her up." My personal favorite was "We met on the freeway while stuck in traffic." For some reason, we felt embarrassed to share the truth. Perhaps because it wasn't that common at the time? I'm not sure. We ultimately ended up telling everyone and would frequently have a chuckle about it. Oddly enough, we found similarities in regard to the lost pregnancies we suffered on the journey to creating our family. We carried this secret everywhere on our shoulders. We chose to bear this cross alone in our grief. For us, it was completely unhealthy. However, once we started to discuss some of our frustrations and struggles with the people in our life that we are comfortable with, the load on our shoulders seemed to lessen ever so slightly. Make no mistake, we still carry the losses of our little ones with a heavy heart. We certainly haven't shared every facet of our darkest days with everyone. The heartache is still present, the weight of the grief on our shoulders still tangible. I don't know that it will ever completely subside. I don't know that I ever want it to. For Kim and I (and I know everyone is different) as we slowly opened to share some of our frustrations and bits of our grief with loved ones, the cathartic nature of these actions have truly helped us strive onward to find our 2nd rainbow baby. It also has allowed us to publicly declare that we officially met on Match.com. :)

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