Blog

Please check out Mera’s Mission, as they were responsible for prompting this piece that focuses on what the struggle is like from a hopeful father/husband’s perspective. Through my eyes: Miscarriage. One of the many conditions that can occur on the road to parenthood. I don’t think the discussion is often had from the male perspective. Furthermore, I’d say it is more than fair to focus the lion’s share of attention on the female view point seeing as how the woman is the only one in the relationship left to suffer the physical effects of this event. That said, I made...

I’m not particularly sure when it happened. Growing up, I was exceptionally emotional. I’m not exaggerating. My tear ducts were very well exercised in my youth. It probably didn’t help that I was a chubby kid that was constantly made fun of. Ultimately, my lack of fitness and love for cookies, chocodiles, and Spaghetti-O’s resulted in me having to develop a wit that mimicked the thick skin of a rhino. Unfortunately, kids can be ruthlessly mean and we as young humans have to adapt in order to survive. But, I digress... Somewhere in the neighborhood of 10ish years ago though,...

This one. The second one scarred me. The second one is so hard to write about.  I’ll just jump right in, so I can get it over with. There was barely any blood and zero cramping. The amount of blood that is considered normal during pregnancy, doctors say. That reassured me enough to fall asleep. At about 1am, I woke up and had The. Worst. Cramping. So scarily intense. I went to the bathroom and immediately felt like I had to go #2/labor feeling. So I tried, but nothing. Just more excruciating pain. So much pain, I grabbed the trash...

How in the world were we so blind sided when we suffered our 1st miscarriage?! 1 in 4 (and that figure might be low due to lack of reporting) pregnancies end prematurely! That is a staggering statistic!! If there was a 1 in 4 chance I’d die while swimming, I’d drain my pool and fill it with the plastic balls from Chuck E Cheese! So, how did we have no idea?! Unfortunately, miscarriage is the “Fight Club“ of human conditions. The first rule of miscarriage is you don’t talk about miscarriage, and the second rule.... you get the point. But,...

Drywall. Concrete. Stuff. That’s what’s in this house. This ominous silence could not possibly be louder. My wife and son are staying with her parents in Paso Robles for an extra week as this Covid situation is hopefully starting to slow down. I had to come home without them to go back to work for 72 hours, which is why they stayed. I love my job. If I went back in time and told 12 year old me that “you are going to be a firefighter and bomb technician when you’re a grown up,” I probably would have actually peed...

I don't mind talking about it, quickly, with close friends who know our situation. But writing about it, to strangers, and having to remember every second and every detail, that's a struggle for me. And something that I have put off, for far too long. My first miscarriage was terrifying, but simple. Weird adjective to describe it, I know. But so simple compared to the next 2, physically 💔  My husband and I had been TTC for several years. Finally, a positive pregnancy test. Beyond excited, thrilled, told everyone. Why would we think anything bad would happen. That's not spoken...